Modern Gentleman Style, manners and taste never go out of fashion. Wed, 11 Nov 2020 17:39:55 +0000 en-US hourly 1 48172422 The best 7 houseplants that any man can buy Wed, 11 Nov 2020 17:39:55 +0000 There may come a time in a man’s life when he wants to care for and nurture a living thing. For some, it’s a child, others like a cat or dog, but for many men out there, a simple houseplant is more than enough. There are dozens and dozens of fantastic indoor plants that give your home a nice décor boost and even an added dose of feng shui, but primarily they improve the quality of air and give you something to care about.

Luckily, for the man who isn’t home all that much and is a bit forgetful, many plants can put up with neglect and only need the tiniest amount of water and light to thrive. Keep in mind that your kitchen waste can also be used for your plants to help them grow. So don’t always throw food scraps in the bin! So, for any man who wants a bit of plant life in his home but doesn’t want to run home at 6:00 pm every night just to water the greenery, then the following plants are for you.

ZZ Plant

Cool name aside, the ZZ plant is great for purifying bad air, is not too big, barely requires any water or sunlight, and lasts for several years. In fact, you’ll have to try really hard to kill it! A great option for city dwellers, the ZZ plant looks awesome and will quickly become your new favorite. It’s best to put it in direct sunlight and always let the soil dry before watering it again.

Snake Plant

The snake plant is anything but poisonous! This neat, little plant doesn’t need much light, so you can place it in the corner of the room for a bit of décor. Overwatering will actually kill the plant, so don’t always assume it’s thirsty. The tips can be a little sharp, but the snake plant looks cool and is perfect for bachelors.

Ponytail Palm

A great windowsill plant, the ponytail palm has a wild, fun look that is always a conversation starter. If there’s no space on your windowsill, a brightly-lit corner is also a great option, but ensure it’s getting a lot of light and just a little bit of water.

Bird of Paradise

If you feel like you’re ready for more of a challenge, then the Bird of Paradise plant should be your next task. The plant gets quite large, but this big, beautiful plant is exotic and a great addition to any home. It requires more water than most houseplants, but also a lot of sunlight and even dustings to ensure it is kept clean. It’s worth pointing out that the leaves are poisonous when eaten, so don’t have it near any animals or children.

Iron Plant

Want a tough plant that doesn’t give in, no matter how much you forget to water it? The Iron plant is true to its name and is incredibly strong, requiring little light and hardly any water. It’s quite big, so throw it into a corner of your room and when you remember to water it, check the dampness of the soil to check you’re not giving it too much H2O.

Peace Lily

Perhaps the best plant for cleansing the air, the Peace Lily looks amazing and actually has flowers that bloom twice a year. Great for humid environments, these require a decent amount of sunlight and water a few times a week.

Desert Gem Cactus

One of the coolest looking plants in the world, the Desert Gem cactus doesn’t require so much water, but it does need a lot of light to help it grow. It won’t get so big, so it makes a great option for a desk plant.

Check tips here for taking care of plants to make sure you don’t have to keep buying new ones all the time.

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The Modern Gentleman’s Guide to Staying Fit Thu, 16 Jul 2020 17:17:23 +0000 Physical fitness is essential to overall health. This is true no matter who you are or what you do; perhaps even more so if you have a discerning fashion sense. After all, an attractive gentleman who takes care of his body will look great in anything, while not even the finest-cut suit can flatter a walking beanbag.

But with our busy modern lives, what is a gentleman to do if he wants to stay in shape? Well, there’s a lot more to fitness than running miles and pumping iron. You also don’t have to invest countless hours at the gym each week to see results. Here’s what you need to do.

Gentlemans Guide Staying Fit

Do What You Love

The only way to stick to your daily workout in the long term is to enjoy it. That means finding a form of exercise that you look forward to doing.

Of course, this will largely depend on your goals. Running, cycling and the like are better if you want to lose weight, while lifting and calisthenics are effective muscle builders. A “gentleman’s sport” such as golf, boxing, fishing, or tennis can fill a few time slots on your weekends.

Regardless of what you choose, you should see it as part of your day and not a chore to be completed.

It’s also important to consider the why behind your efforts. Keeping your reason for staying active on top of your mind will help you stick to your routine when motivation is in short supply. Setting clear targets and detailing how you plan on reaching them is another way to stay on track.

Eat Right

Your greatest efforts will be to no avail if you come home and stuff your body with junk. In addition to countless other benefits, a healthy diet will provide the energy you need to get through a tough workout. It will also help you lose weight and gain muscle mass faster. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

  • Avoid added sugar. Substitute energy drinks and protein bars with healthy, natural alternatives.
  • Stick to water and remember to stay hydrated.
  • Stock up on protein to retain muscle mass and improve healing. Eggs, nuts, and beans are your friend here.
  • Try to cook your own food more often. Bake or roast it instead of grilling or frying.
  • You needn’t bother with diets. It’s as simple as choosing natural, unprocessed foods that are free of sugar.

Use Supplements

It’s not easy to get everything you need from diet alone, especially when you’re training. Supplements can help you fill the nutritional gaps. Creatine is useful for building strength, while vitamin D helps to keep testosterone levels in check. Magnesium is important for recovery and muscle contraction. Berberine is great for fat burning.

If you’re looking to boost your energy levels, you might be interested in sermorelin. It also increases metabolism and helps to boost strength. Beta-alanine and Vitamin K2 are popular training supplements as well.

Get Enough Sleep

There’s a lot more to sleep than just recharging your batteries for the next day. Quality sleep produces growth hormone, which is key to building lean muscle and helping you recover from injuries. It also keeps your heart healthy and reduces inflammation, not to mention the weight loss benefits. Aim to get between six to eight hours per night.


Your efforts to stay active don’t have to be confined to the gym. There are several ways to keep your blood pumping throughout the day.

Walking faster and more often is one of the simplest solutions. Consider investing in a standing desk if you work behind a computer. And when no one’s watching, you can slip in a quick dance routine while you’re cleaning the house.

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The Art of Sprezzatura – Looking Good Without Trying Too Hard Tue, 28 Apr 2020 22:01:42 +0000 Sprezzatura - Mr. Luca Di Montezemolo and Mr. Gianni Agnelli

Mr. Luca Di Montezemolo and Mr. Gianni Agnelli. Pay attention how the wrist watch of Mr. Agnelli is over the cuffs, not the other way around.

You have all heard about this charming Italian word, but what is sprezzatura? In plain words, it is a way a man dresses and looks good without looking like he tried too hard. It can be translated as “artful dishevelment”. Italians are the masters of “not caring look” that looks good. Sprezzatura is rooted in their attitude, but where does this attitude come from? 6FWQHGKP5PCM


Renaissance Man

In the beginning of the 16th century Baldassare Castiglione wrote “The Book of the Courtier” which was a guide for gentleman like himself. He stated that dressing totally effortless was as important as looking good. Since he was writing for the noble men this way of dressing was more of an etiquette and less about attitude.

Today this principle is wide-spread among Italian men and the trend of nonchalant, unstudied, carefree sartorial rebellion has crossed Italian borders and spread around the world.


Sprezzatura - Mr. Lino Ieluzzi and Mr. Renato Plutino

Italian gentlemen, Mr. Lino Ieluzzi and Mr. Renato Plutino


Learn the rules and then break them

Men’s outfit should never look too perfect according to sprezzatura. Is it trying to say that the men should not follow the rules of matching patterns and colors? No, rules are good but every rule is meant to be broken.

Sprezzatura - Mr. Lapo Elkann

Mr. Lapo Elkann

Once you learn the rules you can start do break them and bend them to your own taste. Once you achieve sartorial perfection it is time to try sartorial nonchalance, the sprezzatura.

If you always follow the rules of matching pocket square to your tie, if your shirt is always starched and if you never bend the rules you will not look original. You will blend in the world of men where everyone knows the rules and dress the same.

But if you do get brave and break some rules, if you do start to dress bravely and nonchalantly you will be seen as a cool man. A man of style. Because style cannot be bought. You either have it or you don’t.

Breaking the rules can be charming and women love charming men. And charm comes with easy-going attitude, charm is totally opposite of the perfection. But how to look not so perfect but yet perfectly cool?


Sprezzatura - Mr. Luca Rubinacci

© Club Rubinacci. Mr. Luca Rubinacci. Are you brave enough to bress like this?


How to achieve the sprezzatura?

You should still dress for the occasion. If the occasion is black tie event, then dress appropriately but do make your statement with some detail. Like patterned pocket square, crooked bow tie or a bracelet just hanging loosely bellow your watch.

Implementing some of these details in desired dress code will make you stand out from the crowd. You will not be another guy, you will be that guy.

For events that are not so formal, or for casual occasions you can be even bolder and extend your nonchalance to another level. Let your style shine in these situations. If you are brave enough, try red pants, or a conservative tweed jacket with vest in contesting bright color.

A pocket square that is much brighter than the rest of the outfit you are wearing. A conservative vest with turtleneck sweater and a pair of jeans with some nice cognac colored brogues.

You can mix some expensive modern piece of clothing with some vintage one. Put on some colored socks, no one will expect that. Wear accessories in unexpected way. Try some of the new tie knots, like Eldrige or Trinity knot. Let your charisma be your guide.



Take a notice of the bracelets around this gentleman’s hand. Color of the scarf is noticeable enough.


Don’t overdo it

The beauty of sprezzatura is that there are no rules. There are no do’s and don’ts as long as it looks good.  Although do not overdo it. If you start to fool around too much with your wardrobe you may look silly sometimes and you don’t want to look like a clown.

Have a measure, in everything, not only in your dressing. One, two or maybe even three details will be enough. Don’t overdo it.

If you are uncertain look for inspiration in the masters of Italian sprezzatura like late Gianni Agnelli or his nephew Lapo Elkann. Good example is Luca Di Montezemolo CEO of Ferrari or if you are brave enough try some of the stuff that Luca Rubinacci is doing or Lino Ieluzzi.

While you can learn a lot from these icons of sprezzatura the most important thing about it is that your personality has to be your guide. Don’t be a copy cat. Be yourself, the one and only and if you achieve this you will be remembered where ever you go.

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A Gentleman’s Do’s and Don’ts of Wearing Italian Jewelry Wed, 04 Mar 2020 16:54:14 +0000 When the weather is nice, there’s no better way to show off than to cast off those bulky overcoats and sweaters and don jewelry of the finest quality.

Italian gentleman’s jewelry adds flair to any outfit, but there are a few things to keep in mind when accessorizing with pieces that have been made in Italy if you want to enhance your ensemble’s aesthetic. So, what are the dos and don’ts of wearing fine Italian accessories?

Italian Jewellery

Do: Mix It Up

Watches are a classic staple for the dapper gentleman and can also be added to outfits for women, so don’t be afraid to pair your favorite piece with an Italian silver bracelet or get a gift for a loved one that goes along with their style as well.

For example, when pairing mont blanc watches and leather accessories, you can use rings or earrings to bring out the watch and allow you to assemble the perfect outfit. Dodo bracelets and charms for women go well with many pieces, so you can have fun giving the gift of accessories.

Don’t: Over-Accessorize

While you may be eager to dazzle with numerous pieces of jewelry, the phrase ‘less is more’ should be kept in mind when it comes to accessorizing.

Some accessories, such as Mont Blanc watches, are attention-getting as it is, so you’ll want to avoid adding too much to your look and diminishing it. Keep it limited to two accessories per arm, especially if you’re going to be wearing an Italian gold necklace.

If you’re planning on getting a gift for a loved one, Pomellato pieces like silver Pomellato rings and earrings make great accessories that won’t overshadow other jewelry pieces.

Do: Go Over the Shirt

There is something alluring about wearing a necklace over a shirt or sweater, however you’ll have to make sure it’s the right necklace for the role. When choosing the right Italian silver necklace to wear, make sure that it’s not too short and avoid anything that looks too chunky.

If you’re wearing gold, the right shade makes all the difference, so be wary that the necklace you decide to wear isn’t too gold to be worn over a T-shirt.

Wearing fine jewelry may seem a bit intimidating if you’re not sure how to coordinate your accessories. Once you’ve pinpointed your personal style and aesthetic, the rest is easy – just go to BLONDI to find all the Italian jewelry and accessories you need.

As long as you keep these dos and don’ts in mind, you can avoid a fashion faux pas that brings down the look of even the finest Italian accessories and jewelry.

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The Best Cities in Europe for a Wild Bachelor Party Tue, 03 Dec 2019 10:00:42 +0000 If you’re planning a bachelor party for your best friend, then there are obviously loads of great cities in the US of A where you can have a memorable time! But if you really want to do something special and different, then it has to be a bachelor party in Europe.

Trouble is… there are a lot of fantastic cities in Europe, so how are you supposed to choose? We’ll provide some suggestions for some of Europe’s best cities where you can have the bachelor party that dreams are made of! So, searching for cheap flights to Europe, pack your bags, and get your

Wild Bachelor Party

Low on cost, big on thrills

There are several cities in Eastern Europe that are very cheap to visit, but can still deliver the goods when it comes to drinking, eating, partying, sightseeing, and events. Prague (Czech Republic), Budapest (Hungary), and Warsaw (Poland) all have their fair share of vibrant night clubs, thermal baths, pub crawls, gentlemen’s clubs, and even things like shooting ranges and beer bikes! You can get by with English here, as these cities get millions of tourists each year.

Must-See Destinations:

  1. Prague: Charles Bridge
  2. Budapest: Széchenyi thermal baths
  3. Warsaw: Łazienki Park

Sunniest spots

If partying and sunshine are essentials for you for a good bachelor trip, then Europe has a lot to choose from. However, if you’re after partying, sun, and some exciting stuff to check out along the way, then we suggest either Lisbon (Portugal), Barcelona (Spain), or Athens (Greece).

These places are rich in history and have many great attractions, but if you come towards the end of summer, then you can soak up the sun all day long, then party in the evening (all whilst wearing just a T-shirt).

You should also hit up the beaches, as these cities are all on the coast (or at least close to it), so you can practice your cannonballs during the summer sun. Don’t forget to dress the part to blend in and look stylish always.

Must see:

  1. Barcelona: Park Güell
  2. Lisbon: Belém Tower
  3. Athens: Acropolis

Expensive, but YOLO

Got cash to splash? Then Europe can certainly deliver on that front. If you don’t mind spending a lot to have an epic bachelor party, then it’s got to be either in London (England), Zurich (Switzerland), or Reykjavik (Iceland). Obviously, London is perfect if you want to stick to somewhere with English is the native language, but you’ll have no problem in Zurich or Reykjavik.

London and Zurich are practically tailor-made for bar hopping and visiting all types of lavish clubs, as well as some fun sightseeing and restaurants with delicious food from all over the world. Reykjavik has great city life and loads of beautiful scenery, and don’t forget that average daylight in summertime lasts for around 20 hours, and on some days, where the sun never sets!

Must see:

  1. Reykjavik: Hallgrimskirkja
  2. London: Tower Bridge
  3. Zurich: Grossmünster
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The Gentleman’s Guide to Landing Your Dream Girl Fri, 20 Sep 2019 12:54:57 +0000 Most of us have a special lady that we want to like us; however, it is never a good idea to appear overly desperate. If you want to win her over, then you must show her how much of a gentleman you are.

Perusing a classy lady, is an art-form that must be practiced and perfected. If you want her to fall for you, then must approach it with the mindset of a gentleman. In this article, we will show you some tips that you will make her want you.

Gentlemans Guide Landing Dream Girl

1. Buy Her a Special Gift

One of the best ways to show your affection to a special lady is through buying her a wonderful gift. You need to be careful when thinking of a gift since something too extravagant can be taken the wrong way.

One of the best gifts that a gentleman can give to impress a lady is eternity roses. This beautiful combination of flower and gold/silver can win a girl’s heart. It is a gift that many girls will treasure, and it will be one of the best ways to communicate your feelings for her.

2. Don’t Be Needy

Girls hate clingy guys, and a gentleman is never needy. This means that you should never try to force things or to get ahead of yourself. Always play it calm and casual.

This means that you shouldn’t text back too quickly or make plans too hastily. A gentleman has a busy life and therefore is not constantly available for a woman. However, when he is available, he makes sure to give the lady his full attention.

3. Make Her Laugh

It is no secret that women love funny guys. If you can keep her laughing, then there is a good chance that you will be able to win her heart.

You can tell funny stories or jokes to keep her laughing. But, you shouldn’t overdo it, and it is always best to be funny within the context of the situation.

Rather than being known as a clown, the perception you want to give is that of a funny and charming person.

4. Be Flirty

Flirting should always be done in a nuanced manner, and it should be done by gauging the reactions of your lady. When flirting is done right, it can make any woman feel like a queen.

You should keep your flirting casual, and make sure that you don’t overdo it in the early stages. In the early stages, you should keep your compliments on the clean side.

Once she is more receptive, you can begin to be more cheeky with your flirty efforts. A gentleman is never creepy with his approach to a woman, and he always remains respectful.

5. Always Be Confident

Confidence comes naturally to some, but to others, it can be hard to muster up when talking with their dream girl. Women love a confident guy who is not afraid to dominate.

A gentleman is confident, but he is also aware of the fine line between confidence and arrogance. A confident man has nothing to prove, and he remains comfortable in every situation.

A gentleman always speaks with a confident and strong voice. If you can remain cool and calm in front of your lady, then she is much more likely to be attracted to you.

Closing Thoughts

Chasing a dream girl and then getting her to like you back can be very stressful. There may be moments where you doubt yourself; however, by adopting a gentleman’s mindset, you can successfully navigate the situation in order to catch her attention.

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What Items Can Be Placed in Self-storage? Mon, 02 Sep 2019 09:18:37 +0000 Storage room

It’s fair to say that men should take pride in their appearance and put in the effort to look good. However, can every gentleman really say the same thing for his home? Through no fault of our own, it seems our belongings simply build up and up over the years, until we get the point where we’re stepping over items and twisting around boxes just to get to the coffee machine!

Everyone has a lot of stuff that we don’t always need to have in the house but is still too precious to throw away or sell, which is why self-storage has become a hugely popular option across the world in recent times. Affordable, convenient, and simple to set up, full service storage options are easy to find online and right now the best way to de-clutter your living space! Many of these companies will even pick up and drop off your belongings when it suits you, letting you breathe a sigh of relief that there’s no need to carry heavy things.

If you like the idea of self-storage but are unsure what could be placed in a secure room for months or even years, then here are some items that are probably clogging up a lot of space in your apartment at this moment.

Bicycle or motorbike

For many city dwellers, the thought of riding a bike is purely a summertime or springtime activity! Winter and fall are simply too cold and the roads can be dangerously icy at times. This means that your bike is perhaps taking up valuable space in your home or you’ve even locked it up in your apartment’s basement and don’t feel it’s safe there. Store it away for the 6-7 months when it’s too cold to ride and then bring it out when the weather heats up.

Family heirlooms and artwork

If you’ve managed to inherit several family heirlooms but none of these are exactly your cup of tea, such as large paintings, vases, glassware, or even some armchairs or coffee tables, then self-storage will suit perfectly. You obviously want to keep them because of the sentimental value, as well as potential monetary value in later years, so instead of hiding them in a corner of your apartment, move them into storage instead.


A man’s wardrobe should be neat and tidy at all times! They say that if you’re not wearing a clothing item for longer than 1 year, then it’s probably best to sell or give it away. Look through your wardrobe and see which shirts, jackets, or jeans aren’t being worn much and then place them into storage for a year. If you find that you don’t regret doing this and aren’t likely to wear them again, then either try selling on eBay or give away to a thrift store.

Holiday decorations

Christmas, Easter, or even Halloween decorations are great to put up around the home, but because they only happen once a year, then what’s the point of them sitting in boxes collecting dust when not in use? Christmas trees, fairy lights, and costumes can definitely go into storage and brought out when necessary.

Items for Lent

For the Christian faith, Lent is an important time in which you’re supposed to give up something you love for 6 weeks. For some, this means smoking or alcohol, for example, but perhaps you feel like you watch too much TV or play video games too often. It could be that the Lent period will be easier if your games console and TV are placed into storage for the 6 weeks, because not having these items in the house means you can’t break your promise. Who knows, you might not miss them at all and find that you can spend time doing other activities!

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A Modern Gentleman’s Guide to Vacation Style Mon, 05 Aug 2019 13:01:10 +0000 Vacations are all about taking a break, but a true gentleman never takes a break from looking stylish.

Do not throw a few wrinkled shirts and a single pair of swim trunks into an old and outdated carry-on suitcase; a modern gentleman would never be so neglectful of his appearance.

The goal of a vacation is to relax and unwind, but never apply this objective to your vacation wardrobe. Below, are some important style guidelines to get you through your vacation like a true gentleman.

Tops: Collars, button-downs, subtle prints

For tops, stick to classic silhouettes in classic colors, such as white, navy blue, black, and red.

A go-to style for vacation is a collared button-down in short and long sleeve lengths; long sleeves are essential for tropical vacations where the weather gets cool at night.

Modern Gentlemans Guide Vacation Style

Packing a few polos is always a great idea. For polos, pack only neutral colors, with no patterns, that can go with any bottoms you choose to bring.

For other button-down collared shirts, you can bring out your personality by choosing options with prints and patterns, so long as they are in neutral, non-flashy colors. Good examples are white button-downs with muted florals or with a white and blue striped pattern.

Lastly, make sure to pack a nice blazer or suit coat for more formal dinners and parties.

Bottoms: Modern swim trunks, fitted shorts, and slacks

It is absolutely unacceptable to wear baggy basketball or workout shorts on vacation; there is not an ounce of style to be found in those. Instead, opt for fitted shorts. Fitted, in this context, does not mean tight. Fitted shorts have a straight-leg cut and are often rolled up at the bottom but only once.

Accessories Vacation Style

Weather is unpredictable, so don’t forget to bring fitted pants, as well. It is also best to make sure you bring nice dress slacks for more formal dining and club outings.

For swim trunks, you can take a more modern approach and choose trunks in bold reds and checkered patterns, as well as in other bold and fun patterns. Use your best judgment.

Accessories: Shoes, sunglasses, luggage

Probably one of the only occasions when gentlemen are permitted to wear sandals is while on vacation. However, this is only allowed on the beach, not even on the boardwalk or pier.

For every other occasion, bring a nice and classic oxford shoe or boot in black and brown. It is also recommended that you bring some kind of canvas shoe for more casual days.

Tops Bottoms Vacation Style

You’re more than likely going to be vacationing in the sun, so it is imperative that you remember to bring your own sunglasses- it is never a good idea to purchase and wear sunglasses from a kiosk or beach shop.

Most importantly, don’t forget that what you carry your clothes and accessories in needs to be just as stylish as its contents. Pull a nice duffle bag out of the back of your closet or purchase a new one.

If you think about it, all people see when you’re traveling through the airport is your luggage. What does an old and beat-up suitcase say about you in comparison to what a designer duffle bag says about you?

A modern gentleman maintains his style, no matter what. If you are going on vacation, keep this in mind and follow this guide to make sure your vacation style is up to par.

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4 Ideas for the Modern Gentleman Getting Back in the Dating Game Fri, 02 Aug 2019 11:34:18 +0000 When you haven’t been in the dating scene for a few years because you’ve either been taking a break from relationships or were coupled up at the time, it’s difficult to get your head around what it’s like now. For one thing, everything has gone digital. Apps like Tinder lead the way allowing beautiful people to meet their counterpart in an instant. For the modern gentleman, there’s a period of adjustment necessary if you’ve been on the sidelines.

Here are 4 ideas to help you understand how things are now.

1. Get Started with Dating Apps

While you can ask a friend if she knows someone suitable for you, the chances are slim that you’d hit it off. Usually, you need to cast a wider net.

Signing up with some dating apps like Tinder or Bumble will get your photo or video into the smartphones of women looking to meet a new man. You’ll still need to make the first move unless you’re an Adonis, so nothing has changed there.

A great photo and witty banter are required. Don’t be surprised if the interaction is limited on these apps. Women get inundated with messages from likely suitors. They end up having to pick just a handful to send messages back to. It’s easy for them to get distracted and stop communicating.

2. Ghosting and What It Means

Due to the nature of online dating now, women cannot keep up with replying to many people. With many new people contacting a woman, they can get interested in someone new and stop communicating with a person they’ve been writing to over a few days. This is known as ‘ghosting’.

In a sense, it’s not personal. It’s just the way it is now. Try to develop a thicker skin as it’ll happen to you when you least expect it.

3. Not Everyone Wants Something Serious

Dating is more casual than ever. Whereas a few years ago, women tended to want a serious relationship and men were kind of on the fence, that’s changed.

Modern women are not necessarily wanting a serious relationship until they are in their 30s. They’re thinking about their career and having children much later in life compared to previous generations. Therefore, women may enjoy a relaxed relationship with a modern man with no strings attached. For men used to the way things were before, that’s a very confusing change to adjust to.

4. Have a More Flexible Attitude in the Bedroom

Women tend to be more expressive and adventurous in the bedroom now. They will often own one or more vibrators and other toys for personal use. But she may want to spice it up with a vibrator that you can use on her and maybe on yourself too.

If you’ve never been in that situation before, it can feel a bit threatening. Like you’re not enough for her now. But take a step back and realize that women need more stimulation than men to reach orgasm. Often, intercourse doesn’t hit the spot for her. But placing a vibrator on her clitoris and she’s much more likely to get off multiple times. That leads to greater satisfaction in the bedroom for her which is good for both of you.

While you’ll have to mentally and emotionally adjust to modern dating, it’s not that difficult. Certainly, women are more proactive with dating than ever before. Try to take that in stride. It’s nothing personal. Even if you get ghosted here and there. It happens. Find someone new and have better experiences. You’ll both know when you want something more serious.

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I Went on a 3-day Magic Mushroom Retreat… Thu, 18 Jul 2019 13:39:39 +0000 Mushroom Retreat

There I am, lying down on a mattress with an eye mask on. In front of me is a pensionado crying like a child, next to him someone bursting into uncontrollable laughter and on my left, someone is vomiting.

No, it’s not what you think.

I am on a three-day magic mushroom retreat.

Let’s go back a few weeks…

After listening to some podcasts and diving into research on psychedelics I had become fascinated with the power of magic mushrooms and felt the need to try it out and experience the effects myself.


Psilocybin is the main active ingredient in magic mushrooms. Its chemical structure is similar to that of LSD.

Psilocybin was first synthesized by Albert Hofmann in the late 1950s.

The effects of psilocybin include euphoria, visual and mental hallucinations, perception changes,  an altered sense of time, and spiritual experiences.

In the 1960s, psilocybin research boomed with more than 1000 studies published on psilocybin and its effects.

However, recreational use got out of hand and in the 1970s, psilocybin and other psychedelics were classified as Schedule 1 Drugs.

That’s right, it got the same status as Heroin. After some decades of silence, we saw a renewed interest in psilocybin research in the late 1990s.

The number of publications on psychedelics is currently increasing by the day and recently, the FDA even approved a psilocybin trial for treatment-resistant depression.

Researchers from Johns Hopkins University have recommended that psilocybin be reclassified as a Schedule 4 drug, so that it can again be used for medical purposes.

After a few Google searches, I found out that, apparently, there’s a whole world of ‘Magic Mushroom Retreats’ where you can go tripping in a controlled environment with like-minded people.


That sounded like a fantastic idea for a first-time experience, so after comparing all the options, I signed up for a 3-day retreat in my home country, the Netherlands, with Synthesis Retreat.

Magic mushrooms are prohibited in most countries, but not in the Netherlands. That’s why many retreats are organized here and people from all over the world fly in to legally experience the holy ‘shroom.

I chose Synthesis because it seemed the least ‘hippy’ out of all the retreats I found online. To each to his own, of course, but the whole ‘kumbaya hippy thing’ just isn’t for me and with many of the retreat options, you definitely get that feeling.

Synthesis appeared more geared towards people looking for both an experience and to improve themselves, so my mind was made up.


After signing up for a retreat starting in 3 weeks’ time, the preparations began. I received an e-mail regarding how to prepare for the experience and how to make the most of it.

The main thing is to ensure you have the right intentions. I was asked to think about what I wanted to get out of the trip and to think about my primary intention in signing up for the retreat.

This exercise has a lot of value in itself. You’re pushed to think about what you want to change the most in your current life.

After a lot of thought, I settled on breaking out of a pattern where ‘everything is always fine.’ I’m the type of person who plays everything down, whether good or bad. Therefore I never fully enjoy the moment and I don’t have many things I’m truly passionate about.

It’s something I’d like to change and perhaps an experience like this could break down some barriers.

Besides the intention setting, there was a list of recommendations from the retreat organization to get the most out of the experience. Included was a list of recommended books and videos and the advice to start meditating and journaling daily.

One of the recommendations for the last week leading up to the event is worth mentioning:

“To abstain from heavy food, news and media consumption, sex, alcohol and any other recreational drugs.”

I don’t know about you, but for me some of the listed things are not easy for me give up (no it’s not the heavy food part J ).

To be honest, I skipped most of the recommendations leading up to the retreat and from talking to the other participants, I wasn’t the only one.

The retreat experience

On a Friday I’m picked up from Amsterdam Central Station by taxi and from there it’s just a half hour ride to a beautiful location close to the beach.

The retreat house is a stunning place and has every luxury you could wish for. We’re met by the team who will guide us through the weekend; there’s a lead facilitator and two co-facilitators (one of whom is a Doctor). Then there’s also the private chef who cooked us delicious vegan meals the whole weekend.

Magic Mushroom Retreat House

The Retreat House

I’m a meat-eater but almost went vegan after the weekend, the chef was that good.

Later we’re joined by a medic who oversees the ceremony and makes sure no one gets hurt. For me this is a bit over the top but for some people, the medic’s presence helped to make them feel safe. Lastly, there’s a guy joining who taught a few breathwork sessions during the weekend.

I’m also meeting the other participants, a mixed bunch of people from all over the world, 8 peeps total. I can’t really say they’re all a certain type but without exceptions, a group of very nice people.

The first day is quite relaxed. There’s room to hang out, everyone has a 1-on-1 session with one of the facilitators to talk about their intentions and there is an introductory exercise where everyone sits in a circle and introduces themselves.

The next day is the big day.

It starts with a breathwork session to optimally prepare us for the mushroom trip. This is really impactful and for me; it almost feels like I’m tripping already. The other participants experience intense emotions too; I hear a lot intense laughter and crying.

We all get a few hours to relax afterward and then it’s time for the moment of truth.

The ceremony

The ceremony is set up with elements from traditional rituals which make the whole experience quite mystical.

Everyone queues up for the ‘smudging’. This is one of these ancient rituals where you get covered in sage smoke to ‘cleanse the mind, body and spirit’.

I’m not a believer, but hey, smudge me.

I take my place on one of the mattresses (you lie down during your trip) and wait for what’s coming. I haven’t done psychedelics before but I’m not unfamiliar with mind-altering substances so I’m quite relaxed. Some of the others seem a bit tense.

We get our portion of mushrooms together with a portion of raisins and a cup of ginger tea to help with nausea.

Fun fact: For the stomach, it’s actually better to make a tea from the mushrooms but it’s forbidden in the Netherlands to prepare shrooms for others as it’s a criminal offense to ‘extract psilocybin’.

A bowl of mushrooms it is, then.

You have to chew the small pieces well to get the full effect so I take my time. The flavor is ok-ish, not too bad.

I take my time to finish the whole portion of mushrooms and put on the eye mask which is given to everyone to go deeper into the trip.

For me it takes a long time before ‘anything’ happens. From my left and right I already hear the first cries and laughter while I’m still just lying down waiting for what’s to come.

After about an hour and a half, it’s time for the ‘booster dose’ – This is an optional extra dose that you are advised to take if you’re not already tripping your balls off.

I still don’t feel too much except for some more vivid colors and sounds so I happily take the extra dose.

This time it doesn’t taste very good and I don’t finish the whole dose. While taking the booster dose it seems the first dose is really starting to kick in and I’m not sure what’s happening.

It’s hard to describe the experience of tripping. I don’t know what’s real or not and it feels like I’m in another dimension.

I hear an annoying whistle that I think is not real, but afterwards, one of the other participants told me that he was, in fact, walking around and whistling this tune I heard.

Next to me someone is puking his brains out, and yes, that was real too.

I have to go pee and the tiles in the bathroom are moving in waves which felt pretty cool.

I get back to my mattress and I flow into a state that can be best described as having a high fever without the fever. Later on, I feel more like getting up and doing something but I’m not sure what, so I stay put.

I’m looking at the two female facilitators who are watching the whole time from the side of the room. They are dressed in white and look like goddesses.

Before I know the magic is fading and start feeling bored. Because I’ve read quite a bit on the subject, I expect to get all sorts of insights on how the world works, directions to take etcetera but it’s one big nothing.

We’re now about 5-6 hours into the trip and I see the effects waning in the rest of the group so there’s sort of natural ending to the ceremony. I’m feeling really hungry I hadn’t eaten since breakfast (it’s now 7 or 8 PM) and luckily there’s food.

I feel disappointed about not feeling more than I did and the disappointment increases when we do a closing circle where everyone shares their experiences.

Almost everyone had had a magical experience with lots of breakthroughs and had felt deep connections to other people.

I don’t want to rain on the parade and decide to not share my thoughts. Everyone is excited and cuddly and I don’t feel like that at all. I go to bed early, still feeling disappointed.

The next day I wake up early and take a long walk on the beach. The walk works well for me and I’m able to collect my thoughts and feel better about yesterday.

They say that psychedelics give you what you need and not what you want and maybe this is what I needed. I do feel a stronger need now to work on the things I wanted to change and when I get back to the house I also feel much more connected to the others in the group.

This last day of the retreat is perfect. I discuss life with the lead facilitator, speak about how to integrate the experience into real life, and I have a deep and special conversation with a few other attendants.

By late afternoon it’s time to pack the bags and get back to the real world.

What’s next?

Just one strong dose of hallucinogenic mushrooms can change someone’s personality for a year or longer and perhaps even permanently. The cited research found significant increases in openness following a high-dose psilocybin session.

For me, personally, it did not have the described effect.

I felt grateful for the experience but did not feel like a changed man. In talking to experienced trippers afterwards, I learned that changes can be small but they are there if you pay attention.

Funny enough, I did sign up to be a blood donor two weeks after the trip. It’s something I promised an aunt who works for a blood donor organization I would do…20 years ago.

I’m not sure why I followed up on the promise now, and if something can be read into this, but I did and it’s worth mentioning.

Also interesting to note is that I kept in touch with the rest of the participants and the others do seem to have felt significant changes due to the experience. A few notes from the Whatsapp group we set up after the weekend:

  • “…enjoying the little things more…”
  • “…feeling quite happy and fundamentally different than before the retreat…”
  • “…interestingly, I didn’t feel much of the eternal bliss during the trip but after it only gets stronger and stable day by day…”

In conclusion

Although the mushroom trip didn’t lead to the profound changes I had hoped, I am very positive about the whole experience.

It has now been a month since the experience and I often think back on the retreat. I met some great people and I would like to go on another trip in the future. I see this as a beginning of something bigger.

This is also why I would recommend going on a retreat vs. ‘DIY tripping.’ Experiencing this with other people in a retreat setting is what made it special for me.

I can’t fully compare it to taking magic mushrooms on my own in another setting but I’ve talked to many friends who self-experimented with this, and it does seem to be a very different experience.

Perhaps I will follow up with a trip on my own to be able to compare the experience to that of my retreat.

Would you guys be interested in that? Let me know in the comments!

Obligatory legal disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, or mental health professional. The experiences and writing I share will be for educational purposes and does not condone the use of illegal substances. Please do not use any dose of psychedelics without medical supervision.

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